L'art de zorb

Ron Artest's Hair

Noted basketballer Ron Artest has a funny haircut:



Spells "defense" in Hebrew, Hindi and Japanese. It is important to draw inspiration from the three mightiest basketball nations.

Takebacko, The Dog-Poop-Eating Dog!

John Nolte's latest headline:

James Cameron Declares Thoroughly Debunked Global Warming as Severe a Threat as WWII

Nowhere is there proof that global warming has been thoroughly debunked and THIS PUPPY DEMANDS THAT YOU EAT YOUR OWN POOP!

The Jet Set

Sarah Palin gives a speech in Calgary:

"Our country so appreciates our neighbour to our north," she said launching into one of many of such sweeping passages. "And we Alaskans like to think we share a special bond with our Canadian friends, we have a love of good hunting and good fishing. And great hockey. And we understand the importance of developing our energy resources. We understand the inherent link between energy and security, and energy and prosperity, and energy and freedom. And we understand how important it is to do it responsibly and to keep our part of the world safe and secure."

So is this the first time she's been in Canada or what?

The Art of Subtitling

Clarification:

Bad Roy! Bad!

Voice site's fucked at the moment, so the link there might not work.

The Loneliest Zorb

The Banker

There once was a salaried banker
Who took his bank down like an anchor
Then he said "Now you own us
So where's my damned bonus?"
And was shocked at the feeling of rancor.

Stolen From BBBB

Zombie Twilight cartoon stolen here. Archie-styled action added later.

Led Up a Totem Pole

Michael Moriarty's ongoing examination of the Mao and Brando leads to an On The Waterfront examination. The conclusion:

The only thing I share with Marlon Brando, aside from friendships with both Stella Adler and Harold Clurman, is an alcoholic mother.

As that great actor has indicated more than once, a mother like that can keep you always on your toes.

It is with such alertness that I can show you how Marlon Brando’s entire career and Elia Kazan’s On The Waterfront can lead you up a Marxist gangster’s totem pole to the Godfather of all Godfathers, Mao Zedong.

That Godfather is even colder, more cunning and more ruthless than Al Pacino’s title role in The Devil’s Advocate. Yes, Mao Zedong is the Godfather of all Satanists.

I'll betcha you can get up a Marxist gangster's totem pole if you have the right kind of ZORB.

The trailer for Moriarty's Hitler Meets Christ:

Pagan liberals may feel free to construct their own totem poles from the items below.

Improvements

Recent pandering:

Now Republican Rep. Patrick T. McHenry of North Carolina wants to sub Reagan on the nation's $50 bill for President Ulysses S. Grant, a union general during the Civil War who led the North to victory and later became the nation's 18th POTUS. Grant, a champion for African Americans, died broke, so he probably appreciates the money. But if McHenry has his way, Grant will be retired to the dustbin of history.

What must the Birchers think?

House style thinks my thoughts for me:



GRANT to GRANNY: how much goddamned DESTINY is there in that? WHAT CHOICE DID I HAVE?

A Nut

From Big Hollywood, home of Retracto the Correction Alpaca, this:

RIPPED OFF

This funny post made me want to try things out for myself. Unfortunately what I got back SUCKED. Curse you internet!

In the meantime, ART I TRADED FOR FUCKING NOTHING.



Also:

Speaking As a Parent

This is so absurdly irritating it must somehow be good.



More pop tarts:

“Orgasms are the biggest obstacles for women. Sex should be fun, beautiful and colourful but women get the short end of the stick. We’re just receivers. We can’t talk about sex, we can’t sing about sex.”

I forgive Lady Gaga. She's, like, 20 or something.

Canadiana

At this link is a fine radio documentary about R&B artist Jackie Shane. Shane was a gay man from Nashville who managed to be as out as you could get in Toronto in the 50s and 60s. Being black was a bit better in Canada than in the US, but being gay was still a lot of trouble.

There's a long monologue in his cover of Money that's worth hearing.

ZORBS!

UPDATE!

In the dark of a moonless night in Sochi, granny rolls her water-filled ZORB down the coalpile into the Black Sea where she is consumed by, oh, let's say killer whales without the white parts.

John Lott One-Upped

The ambition of an artist:

A former University at Buffalo addictions researcher hired professional actors to testify on his behalf during an investigation into whether he fabricated data in federally funded studies, state prosecutors said Tuesday.

William Fals-Stewart paid three actors to speak by phone during a university misconduct hearing in 2007 - and then sued the state for $4 million when their false testimony helped exonerate him, Attorney General Andrew Cuomo's office said.

Now that's the kind of kooky plot we like to see succeed! But wait a minute:

The actors, using scripts written by Fals-Stewart, testified as three people who had worked on his projects at the university's Research Institute on Addictions or who had access to records, prosecutors said in court documents. One of them told investigators he had been paid $200 for his testimony.

He's just another iteration of The Man keeping the poor jobbing actor down.

What Is It With the Fake Vets?

A nice opening:

Police say a southern New Jersey man who posed as a female veterinarian tried to kill himself with a thread from his sweater.

Via Boing Boing

Bitches! (Stupid Comic Book Edition)

Circa 1987. It's true that the Avengers did not work so well under women: they lost to the bad guys and were killed in each and every issue.