Forgery FAIL

This seems like the sort of mistake you shouldn't make, either buyer or seller:

A man received a big surprise when he learned the six Andy Warhol paintings he purchased for $100,000 were fake.

The paintings had Warhol's signature on them, and were dated '96. The problem is Warhol died in 1987.

Two Utahns were charged Wednesday in the 3rd District Court for allegedly selling the fake artwork, a deception the buyer learned after trying to have the pieces appraised last year.

No mention of pineapples.

Promises

Why hasn't this man been beaten with a tire-iron?

The prostitute at the centre of Italian premier Silvio Berlusconi's sex scandal claims she slept with him believing he would help her set up a countryside inn but she got "nothing" in return.

Bad Boy Bubby

While on the sickbed I watched Bad Boy Bubby. It is a bad movie, a sort of reverse Candide in which a character goes from fantastic deprivation and abuse to, at the end, a life of family and fulfilment. Blew that ending for you there, didn't I? Not sorry at all. The story's wanderings and changes in logic from allegory to outrage to cutesiness to impersonations of Nick Cave fronting a very boring bar band pretty quickly dissipate any power the earlier scenes of misery had and makes Bubby a tool for the director to pick at whatever scab he's interested in picking at, and prior to Bubby's encountering the outside world, that scab is YOU, dear reader: there just isn't much reason for the preliminary torture. Bubby could as well have come from the sky or from a coma.

I saw it without any preconceptions or expectations and looked it up later: it's evident that some of the shots were just inserted to showcase the sound design, and that some of the scenes may have been fragmentary due to the use of multiple photographers. So it's a technical exercise.

Dull.

The British Connection

[Orly] Taitz says [Neil] Sankey's UK police expertise has been invaluable. "He has had superb training. I have the greatest respect for Scotland Yard."

Christmas Ghosts Visiting

From a video spotted by J—.

The snow is nice, but goddammit if you reverse the image sequence for smoother begging the snow flies up again.

UPDATE:

Gravity can eat me.

Sick

Apologies. You would be wise to wash your hands after reading this post.

The Seal of Quallity

Christian Toto doesn't get it:

Here’s the scene: Bullock’s character is waiting in line to speak to someone about her new son Michael’s legal status.

Fed up, she cuts to the front of the line to ask a question:

“We have been sitting around here for over an hour and when I look around all I see are people shooting the bull and drinking coffee … who’s in charge here?”

The bemused woman behind the desk points to the wall, where a picture of Bush is hanging.

We’ve all been in long lines before, be it at the DMV or other governmental offices. And it doesn’t matter which party - or person - is occupying the White House at the moment.

So the joke makes no sense.

There used to be a regular joke-dissecting column like this in the National Lampoon. It was funny.

The Fatal Glass of Beer

The Bible: Objectively Pro-Furry

Watch Jacob use a goatskin to steal dad's blessing.

Failure

Michael Moore’s ‘Capitalism’ Flops: Even Liberals Stay Away in Droves
by John Nolte

After nearly two months in theaters and all the hype that normally surrounds a Michael Moore film — much of it free thanks to a fawning media, “Capitalism: A Love Story” has flopped. Production costs, advertising costs and whatever Michael Moore takes above the line makes spinning a measly $14.2 million theatrical haul into anything other than a flop impossible.

Note that foreign earnings have not been tallied yet except for some places where starving islanders fight over crabs to survive.

The Greatest 40 Seconds The Cinema Will Ever Produce

Turn the volume UP.



You can stop at 7:10: no punchline necessary.

ALSO.

UFO or Die:

A List

What I listen to most, according to iTunes at work (where my library went screwy about six months ago).

1. In The Club - 50 Cent
2. Paris 1919 - John Cale
3. Get To The Choppa - Austrian Death Machine
4. Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers - Austrian Death Machine
5. Gimme All Your Lovin - ZZ Top
6. Screw You (Benny) - Austrian Death Machine
7. An Ending (Ascent) - Brian Eno With Daniel Lanois & Roger Eno
8. Loverman - Blossom Dearie
9. With Teeth - The Melvins
10. DJ_teds_techno_tubes - Paul Holcomb
11. Always Returning - Brian Eno
12. Electric Counterpoint, Part 3: Fast (feat. guitar: Pat Metheny) - Steve Reich
13. Cool Change - The Little River Band
14. Rags And Bones - Nomeansno
15. The Last Drop Of Morning Dew - The Flaming Lips
16. We Are So Fragile - Gary Numan
17. Chapter III - Killing Joke
18. Fra Diavolo - Laurel And Hardy
19. Cow - The Melvins
20. N-Sub Ulysses - Nation of Ulysses
21. A Man Is An Insect Is A Flame - Sun City Girls
22. Theme From "The Swaying Gardens Of The Apocalypsia" - Sun City Girls
23. Calling It Quits - Aimee Mann
24. She Said She Said - The Beatles
25. D. Feathers - Bettie Serveert

Water for Elephants

A book by Sara Gruen. Seven pages in and it seems like complete shit: the writing is TERRIBLE. It's grating to fear the arrival of the next cliché. Many of the one-star reviews at Google assure me that there's lotsa filth in it, which is reason to keep going, but I can't do it my friends.

You're Just a Tool of the Man

Via M. Bouffant, an article::

Marvel once owned the rights to the word zombie. As improbable as it sounds, Marvel attempted to trademark the word zombie in comic book titles after publishing Tale of the Zombie in 1973. By the time the trademark was approved two years later, the series was coming to an end. Marvel lost the trademark in 1996 but it wasn't long before it was once again trademarking the armies of the undead, registering the words Marvel Zombies to protect its comic series of the same name. With DC, Marvel also trademarked the phrase 'Super Hero'.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Glenn Reynolds, The Future Is NOW!

Fundamental change:

A man whose bowel was damaged in a motorcycle crash has been given a bionic bottom.

Me, Wrong Again

I'd assumed the ISI was kinda cool with the maniacs:

There was no doubt about the target or the motive of the bombing on Friday: Pakistan’s intelligence agency, the Inter-Services Intelligence directorate, is a prominent symbol of military power, and militants have struck at it in different cities in Pakistan.

As ye sow and so forth. Or are Christian writings in bad taste here?

I Have Always Loved This Story

Via Boing Boing again.

I WANT WHAT THEY GOT!

ME: An irony cake so heavy it crushes the table:

CRYBABY BALDWIN: In reply to a recent political and cultural controversy involving “Sesame Street,” Sesame Workshop Executive Vice President Miranda Barry wrote:

SOMEONE FROM SESAME STREET: Jim Henson, Jon Stone, Frank Oz and others set a witty and silly tone for Sesame Street that our current writers work to maintain despite the demands of political correctness.

CRYBABY BALDWIN: What then, specifically, are the demands of political correctness that Ms. Barry’s taxpayer-funded organization operates under?

ME: And why isn't my kind of political correctness on that list?

Fundraising

An idea snuffed out:

Selling candy didn't raise much money last year, so a Goldsboro middle school tried selling grades.

However, the fundraiser came to an abrupt halt today after a story in The News & Observer raised concerns about the practice of selling grades.

Wayne County school administrators stopped the fundraiser, issuing a statement this morning.

"Yesterday afternoon, the district administration met with [Rosewood Middle School principal] Mrs. Shepherd and directed the the following actions be taken: (1) the fundraiser will be immediately stopped; (2) no extra grade credit will be issued that may have resulted from donations; and (3) beginning Novermber 12, all donations will be returned."

A $20 donation to Rosewood Middle School would have gotten a student 20 test points - 10 extra points on two tests of the student's choosing. That could raise a B to an A, or a failing grade to a D.

I will fawn all over any commenter who sends me money, and click on whatever they like.