Mindreading for Dummies

David Kahane has written another completely nutty article. In this one he pretends to be a liberal fearing that his fellows will upchuck the Kool-Aid. Frinstance:

I have a nightmare that you will read Machiavelli’s The Prince and realize that we got there way ahead of you.

Get it? Various other nightmares follow:

I have a nightmare that some of you are old enough to recall a time when the law was an honorable profession, the Constitution was not so deconstructed that, essentially, all that is left of it is the Commerce Clause, and your doctor charged a fee for service and made house calls.

No one can look back on the good old days and not think warmly of fees.

I have a nightmare that you’ll realize that, far from being a right-wing nut, Lee Harvey Oswald was a self-proclaimed Marxist who defected to the Soviet Union, came home with a Russian wife, agitated on behalf of Castro’s Cuba, tried to re-defect to Russia, returned to Dallas, brought his rifle to work, and killed JFK with a classic marksman’s shot group: miss, hit, kill.

News to me, I guess. You too?

I have a nightmare that eventually you will recall that, just a few years after the events depicted in Milk, the newly liberated gay community in San Francisco was decimated by AIDS.

Non sequitur or divine retribution? Your secret guilt will inform you.

I have a nightmare that you will finally understand what the Manchurian Candidate, “mmm mmm mmm / Barack Hussein Obama,” meant by “fundamental change.”

Can someone explain this one in comments?

I have a nightmare that we liberals won’t be able to stop Andrew Breitbart or any of the other maquis now shooting at us from every tree and from behind every rock, turning our own tactics against us, mocking us and rendering us frustrated and impotent.

Lost again. Andrew Breitbart is a French resistance fighter shooting at, um, YOU dear reader?

I have a nightmare that Sarah Palin will get the Republican nomination for president in 2012.

Okay, back to reality: RUN SARAH RUN. PUHLEEEEAAZE!

Punchline I suppose:

I have nightmare that . . .

Nah. Never happen. You’re too stupid.

America: DUMBEST COUNTRY ON EARTH.

NO-CRIME-YET BLOGGING

Like Dan Riehl, I intend to do no meaningful research whatsoever into what I am talking about in this post.

Nevertheless, via Big Hollywood and everything, this wild-eyed craziness is interesting.

Seems the city of Hardin in Montana got rooked into building a big badly-designed prison for which no prison population was anticipated. With nowhere else to go and wanting revenue for a white elephant the city signs a contract with a private operator who will somehow fill the prison.

Nobody really knows much about the private operator, American Police Force. Its website is amateurish shit - "Some of our services include Kidknapping & Ransoms for ransom" -- double-dash WTF???-- - and they rode into town in black vehicles with tinted windows bearing stickers that said they were Hardin's police force. Their spokesman has a thick accent. They've mentioned running a homeless shelter and an animal shelter in addition to whatever-the-fuck they're trying to convince people they actually do.

Man, if I was a right-wing militia nut I would be climbing the walls. It looks to me as if the city has hired yet another bunch of folks to build a better monorail, but this second group is incompetent in ways that jibe perfectly with the prevailing paranoia of the neighbourhood. Giant crazy plans, secrecy, foreigners, claims of outrageous baddassery, and, uh, puppies.

Good luck citizens of Hardin. I believe your city will have a long life in the rhetoric of crazymen. Let's hope it works out safely.

Somewhat sad update:

Seems I am way behind some relatively sober Freepers in smelling a scam.

A further update:

Calif. jail entrepreneur has checkered past

BILLINGS, Mont. — Michael Hilton pitched himself to officials in Hardin, Mont. as a military veteran turned private sector entrepreneur, a California defense contractor with extensive government contracts who promised to turn the rural city's empty jail into a cash cow.

Hardin's leaders were desperate to fill the $27 million jail, which has sat empty since its 2007 completion.

So when Hilton came to town last week — wearing a military-style uniform and offering three Mercedes SUVs for use by local law enforcement — he was greeted with hugs by some grateful residents. The promise of more than 200 new jobs for a community struggling long before the recession hit had won them over.

But public documents and interviews with Hilton's associates and legal adversaries offer a different picture, that of a convicted felon with a number of aliases, a string of legal judgments against him, two bankruptcies and a decades-long reputation for deals gone bad.

Much more at the link.

What Warms Her Heart

Quoth K-Lo:

This story warms my heart:

Okay, what do you figger will warm her heart in the story she links to? Puppies being raised by a panda? A Ben and Jerry's ice-cream airlift to Ethiopia? A little girl who made the best pie at the State Fair? The Pope not having sex with a small boy?

PREPARE TO BE AMAZED:

Andy Williams, the veteran pop singer, has accused Barack Obama of "following Marxist theory" and "wanting the country to fail".

I'll make the hot chocolate, you get the marshmallows, let's cozy up by the fire and GO FUCKING NUTS!

One-Trick Phony

Mr. Edroso zings:

Former NYPD Commissioner Bernie Kerik, indicted in May by federal authorities for making false statements to the Bush White House when he was being vetted for Secretary of Homeland Security, has suffered a great setback: his defense team is prohibited from mentioning 9/11 during the trial.

[...]

The ruling effectively prohibits the testimony of Mayor Giuliani, for reasons noted by Joe Biden.

Vaccine Panic: GO!

Get ready for another onslaught:

LONDON, Sept 29 (Reuters) - A British girl who died shortly after being given GlaxoSmithKline's cervical cancer vaccine had an underlying medical condition and the dose was "most unlikely" to have caused her death, health officials said on Tuesday.

Know Who Was Smart?

HITLER.

UPDATE:

Good news everyone! The NRO says the next generation is stupid and lazy!

Learning About Islam

Speaking of Faith is an NPR show that is often irritatingly airy-fairy but with Ramadan they've been putting out quite useful shows about the experience of ordinary Muslims in America. As an anti-religionist I of course think they're all STUPID JERKZZZ!!! but I very much like listening to people who are telling stories about the way that they live and think.

The Cheapest of Nitpicks

Joseph Lindsey:

“Honky,” “cracker,” “whitey,” “spot,” “the white guy” and “my white nigga” are a few of the words and phrases used to describe me by fellow co-workers (along with a few white jokes told to my face on the set of a film) I co-starred in called “Caught Up” in 1998. I was in fact the only principal white actor on a set dominated by black actors, a black director, a black writer and a predominantly black crew. Not once did I think I was being treated in a racist manor.

Photo suggestions?

Technology

Thus far the only good use I have seen of Twitter:

"Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don't realize until later that it's because it fucked you."

One for the Doktor:

"Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."

Worth It?

Christian Toto:

It’s bad enough that one of the snarkiest comedy outlets around, The Onion, can’t seem to find anything funny about President Barack Obama. But the faux newspaper hit a new low this week by insulting former President Ronald Reagan’s Alzheimer’s Disease and his economic record in one nasty twofer.

Boom. Should it be so easy?

Liberals always take the cheap way out.


As opposed to Toto, who's simply a goof, Leigh Scott appears to be genuinely creepy, creepier even than whatever it is he's creeped out by:

I recently saw the first video of the school kids singing the Barack Obama song in class. At first I thought it was the promo for the new “Children of the Corn” film or perhaps another remake of “Village of the Damned”, but alas, it is not. It is real. But I think it’s way scarier than either of those two retreads will be. This is the single spookiest thing I’ve seen since “Jeepers Creepers” in the theater. It’s a bigger freak show than that Nancy Pelosi press conference where she lied about the CIA.

But, it tells us a lot. It is another nugget of insight into the twisted logic and belief system that plagues the modern left. It should be analyzed, discussed, and studied like the Zapruder film.

Um, yeah, footage of kids singing bullshit happy tunes about the president during Black History Month deserves an invocation of Jackie crawling over the back of a speeding limo to retrieve a piece of skull to put back on Kennedy's burst head.

Constitutionality

Pissy sissies in the United States with their pathetically small constitution - HA HA! JUST LOOK AT IT! - would do well to have a look at the constitution of India's lists of various responsibilities. Lots of stuff can fit in one of those things!

Among various responsibilities:

List I—Union List [That's the central government.]

3. Delimitation of cantonment areas, local self-government in such areas,
the constitution and powers within such areas of cantonment authorities and the regulation of house accommodation (including the control of rents) in such areas.
20. Pilgrimages to places outside India.
26. Lighthouses, including lightships, beacons and other provision for the safety of shipping and aircraft.
31. Posts and telegraphs; telephones, wireless, broadcasting and other like forms of communication.
40. Lotteries organised by the Government of India or the Government of a State.
47. Insurance.
51. Establishment of standards of quality for goods to be exported out of India or transported from one State to another.
59. Cultivation, manufacture, and sale for export, of opium.
60. Sanctioning of cinematograph films for exhibition.
84. Duties of excise on tobacco and other goods manufactured or produced in India except—

(a) alcoholic liquors for human consumption;
(b) opium, Indian hemp and other narcotic drugs and narcotics, but including medicinal and toilet preparations containing alcohol or any substance included in sub-paragraph (b) of this entry.

96. Fees in respect of any of the matters in this List, but not including fees taken in any court.

List II—State List

6. Public health and sanitation; hospitals and dispensaries.
8. Intoxicating liquors, that is to say, the production, manufacture, possession, transport, purchase and sale of intoxicating liquors.
9. Relief of the disabled and unemployable.
10. Burials and burial grounds; cremations and cremation grounds.
15. Preservation, protection and improvement of stock and prevention of animal diseases; veterinary training and practice.
16. Pounds and the prevention of cattle trespass.
30. Money-lending and money-lenders; relief of agricultural indebtedness.
31. Inns and inn-keepers.
33. Theatres and dramatic performances; cinemas subject to the provisions of entry 60 of List I; sports, entertainments and amusements.
34. Betting and gambling.
44. Treasure trove.
51. Duties of excise on the following goods manufactured or produced in the State and countervailing duties at the same or lower rates on similar goods manufactured or produced elsewhere in India:—

(a) alcoholic liquors for human consumption;
(b) opium, Indian hemp and other narcotic drugs and narcotics;but not including medicinal and toilet preparations containing alcohol or any substance included in sub-paragraph (b) of this entry.

58. Taxes on animals and boats.

List III—Concurrent List [These are shared responsibilities.]

8. Actionable wrongs.
15. Vagrancy; nomadic and migratory tribes.
16. Lunacy and mental deficiency, including places for the reception or treatment of lunatics and mental deficients.
17. Prevention of cruelty to animals.
18. Adulteration of foodstuffs and other goods.
19. Drugs and poisons, subject to the provisions of entry 59 of List I with respect to opium.
27. Relief and rehabilitation of persons displaced from their original place of residence by reason of the setting up of the Dominions of India and Pakistan.
29. Prevention of the extension from one State to another of infectious or contagious diseases or pests affecting men, animals or plants.
36. Factories.
37. Boilers.
38. Electricity.
39. Newspapers, books and printing presses.
47. Fees in respect of any of the matters in this List, but not including fees
taken in any court.

Envy the Detectorist

Hoard highlight of 18-year hobby

Discovering the UK's largest haul of Anglo-Saxon treasure has been the highlight of Terry Herbert's 18-year hobby.

"People laugh at metal detectorists," said the unemployed 55-year-old, who stands to make a fortune.

TERROR!

Andrew Klavan is terrified!

It only took a few days for the arrests of would-be terrorists in New York City to fall off the front page. Well, sure, nothing exploded–and God bless the cops, the FBI and other investigators for shutting this particular gang of Murderous Islamist Nutbags down. But if the MIN’s had had their way, officials believe New York would have suffered the sort of simultaneous explosions that took the lives of nearly 200 people in Madrid back in 2004. Imagine the headlines then. Why not? It could have happened. It nearly did. Something like it may yet.

So my question is this: what’s the use of all this good will President Obama has supposedly built up for us in the Arab world? All those apologies, all that groveling before some of the worst and most ignorant tyrants on the planet. Wasn’t that supposed to turn the tide of Arab feeling in our favor?

How about the tide of Afghan feeling? Those folks, I believe, are not Arabs. You can look it up and everything.

But yes, I agree in general: being nice to Macedonians means the Swedes will steal your hubcaps.

After the recent arrests in New York, it seems to me we should all be asking: Isn’t it Obama who has incited Islamist murder by shamelessly appeasing the tyrants at its source?

Of course! I remember my outrage and disgust when, at dinner with King Abdullah, Obama pointed to the rice and said "Bring it on!"

Trust Me

I'm Victor Davis Hanson, academic, and verily I say to thee, academics are stupid liars or terrorists and they float around on clouds.

Also they are judgmental. Did I mention they were complainers?

Still More Metal

Austrian Death Machine.

Let's go
Waaa-yeaah!

How about this one?
How about this one?
Rubber baby buggy bumpers, yeaah
Rubber baby buggy bumpers...
Yeaaah!

How about this one?
How about this one?
Rubber baby buggy bumpers, yeaah

Rubber baby...
Rubber baby...
Rubber baby buggy bumpers yeah

You think I'm so predictable
I bet you didn't know I was - was going to say that
I bet you didn't see this one - see this one coming

Yeah
Let's all get crazy!

Eeeeowwwoooo

I bet you didn't see this one
I bet you didn't see this one

Lets go!

How about this one?
How about this one?
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
How about this one?
How about this one?
Rubber baby buggy bumpers, yeaah
Rubber baby buggy bumpers...

Yeaaah!

Rubber baby...
Rubber baby....
Rubber baby buggy bumpers yeah

Why don't people keep me apprised of these things? Shouldn't they be getting grant money?

Introducing the Boarded-Up Theatre Company

Stalk Rock

Trimming the Fatheads

Is Townhall Better Without Burt? Let's ask Rebecca Hagelin:

If you suspect someone in your family has a porn problem, arm yourself with truth. This column is much to short to delve into all you need to know in order to protect your family. Visit www.SalvoMag.com where you can order the "Silent Bondage" issue and equip yourself to combat pornography's stranglehold head-on.

I'll get to the "Silent Bondage" as soon as I can.

Also Douglas MacKinnon purges David Brooks:

Brooks has unabashedly become a cheerleader for Obama. Again, that is his right. What is not his right is to color the facts, nor to arbitrarily assign intelligence and station in life to others.

...because I fucking know what that intelligence and station in life add up to and HE IS WRONG!

The Third Reason Townhall is Now All Gloss No Dross is John Hawkins with yet another fucking list, ending with this:

5) Obama is no Jackie Robinson: Because he's the first black President, Barack Obama's presidency is particularly meaningful to black Americans just as Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier meant a lot for the same reasons.

However, there is a huge difference between the two men: Jackie Robinson was genuinely talented.

John Hawkins is no:

1. Irving Wallace
2. Amy Wallace
3. David Wallechinsky

Chariots with Saddles: Who Knew?

I summon the demons that live in the wind
As my Chariot drives in the Storm
With the hot blood of Battle
I wait in my saddle
I live and I'll die by the sword

Crack the Earth, Gods of Thunder
Man and beast will be torn asunder
Into the Fight I own the right
To be the King of kings

This Is Your Brain On Thugs

Brains getting tortured are probably not working at their best. That squares with my prejudices, so I am happy being nutty enough to continue thinking that torturing people is both wrong and ineffective. Others are different, as the end of the article shows:

In what is probably a futile effort to avert a flood of pro-torture comments and e-mails, let me point out that whenever science learns something about the brain, it is always possible that the generalization fails to apply to some particular brains. Maybe the brains of Abu Zubaydah, who was waterboarded 83 times, and of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who was waterboarded 183 times, are different, and their torture elicited truthful information. Neuroscientists would very much like to see the evidence of that.

Yes, it's futile to think you can avoid those who are outraged that outrages are not visited upon others.