Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Microsoft Word Sucks

Okay, yes, let's make sure background printing is on...



On we go to print, and maybe we should print again, what the heck...but WAIT!!!



This program has been in development for twenty-five years and background printing still intrudes into the foreground. Learn to queue a fucking print job already: it's not like I'm printing a novel here.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Smart People

...will go read Roy and ignore me for a bit because I'm off to the Ukraine so I can be sick where nobody understands me and I'll be forced to eat beets.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Thank You Google News

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ass-Kicking Lawyers

Police say the clashes between rival groups of lawyers soon became full scale riots, with offices and cars set alight in parts of the southern city.

Violence initially broke out when supporters of President Musharraf held a protest against Tuesday's assault on a former cabinet minister by attorneys.

Fuck that shit up!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Sick

I am sick. I tried to watch a Looney Tunes DVD but laughing hurts. I tried to wash my bedclothes and the machine became unbalanced and caught fire. Seriously.

On the good side I have discovered the proper way to rest the arch of my foot on the spout and gently tweak the amount of hot water with the first knuckle of my middle toe.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Confessed Troll

Somewhere in this thread I took a silly interest in a guy who believes that, politics free, a heroic engineer can manufacture dust-clouds in space that save us all from Global Climate Change.

I believe this makes me an awful person.

In any case, how will the Global Climate Change problem be solved?

1. Application of electric eels to the problem.
2. Putting on a show!
3. Rocks in space.
4. Duct tape.
5. A political compromise in which the industrialized nations of the world concede that zzzzzz.....

Friday, April 4, 2008

Revenge


These stupid men have identified an actual crime but misidentified their targets.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Captioning Sucks

As a followup to this post note that Captioning Sucks.

Monday, March 31, 2008

A Degree from Yale

Until very recently you could claim you had a degree from Yale and they'd verify the documents if they looked nice.
Lawsuit accuses Yale of false statements
By JOHN CHRISTOFFERSEN Associated Press Writer | AP
Mar 27, 2008

A prestigious South Korean university that came under fire for hiring a professor who lied about her credentials is suing Yale, saying the American university wrongly confirmed the woman earned a degree.

Dongguk University is seeking at least $50 million in damages, saying Yale's actions "severely tarnished" its stellar reputation, sparked a criminal probe, cost employees their jobs and led to a decline in donations, government grants and student applications.

What are the odds that there are more false Yale degrees out there that Yale has actually verified?

Good Synthenizing!

Me: Beep boop.
Kid: Beep beep.
Me: Beep boop.
Kid: Boop beep.
Me: Beep beep.
Kid: Beep beep.
Me: Boop boop.
Kid: Boop boop.
Me: Beep boop.
Kid: Good synthenizing!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

It's Okay to be Cynical

Pretty funny video.

Yes, Hillary is better than John McCain, and this really has nothing to do with policies I like or dislike.

Enforced Through Sanctions

States’ Data Obscure How Few Finish High School
By SAM DILLON
Published: March 20, 2008

JACKSON, Miss. — When it comes to high school graduation rates, Mississippi keeps two sets of books.

One team of statisticians working at the state education headquarters here recently calculated the official graduation rate at a respectable 87 percent, which Mississippi reported to Washington. But in another office piled with computer printouts, a second team of number crunchers came up with a different rate: a more sobering 63 percent.

[...]

The No Child law is also at fault. The law set ambitious goals, enforced through sanctions, to make every student proficient in math and reading. But it established no national school completion goals.

Any conservative of the modern ilk is, I suppose, wondering why reporting false information to the government isn't punished by imprisonment. Or perhaps they're fearing such things. One of the two.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Creed Sucks.

Creed sucks. Just thought someone should mention it.

Update:


Creed sucks.

Update II:

Creed sucks.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Dialogue with Children

What's a comedian?

Someone who tells jokes.

I'm a comedian!

What do you call a cow that loves to read?


I dunno, what do you call cow that loves to read?

I forget. Can you tell me?

Via the 5-Year-Old's Japanophilia



My guess is that Gey has a rough time of it.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Ernie and Bert Improved