Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wow

I didn't want to believe it the first time people started posting it, but yes, a 70 minute review of a shitty film can be great.

Eggs

Via Attaturk, I kinda want this:

Attention Hippies!

Drum circles MAY CAUSE ANTHRAX INFECTIONS!
Despite Anthrax, Beat Goes on for Drum Circle Fans
By HOLLY RAMER Associated Press Writer
CONCORD, N.H. January 31, 2010 (AP)
The Associated Press

For drum circle devotees, the beat goes on.

The case of a young New Hampshire women who contracted a rare form of anthrax at a drum circle in December has done little to deter fans of the gatherings, which range from informal outdoor jam sessions to professionally run sessions in corporate conference rooms.

[...]

Those conversations bolstered the theory that she likely swallowed anthrax spores propelled into the air by vigorous drumming, deputy state epidemiologist Dr. Jodie Dionne-Odom said Wednesday. Tests have confirmed that anthrax spores found on two of the center's drums and elsewhere in the building were the same strain that infected the woman.

Though there have been several recent U.S. anthrax cases linked to naturally occurring anthrax on animal hide-covered drums, this case is unusual because the spores didn't enter through the skin or lungs but through the woman's digestive system.
I await investigations of the leprosy/tie-dye connection.

What's Not To Like About Liberal United Nations-Hugging Big-Government Socialist Fascist Gangster Capitalist Atheist God-Hating Running Dogs?

This is a great opening paragraph:
Going Rogue: An American Life
By Sarah Palin
(HarperCollins, 413 pages, $28.99) What’s not to like about Sarah Palin — for a conservative or a Republican? Her autobiography makes it abundantly clear why the liberal United Nations-hugging big-government socialist fascist gangster capitalist atheist God-hating running dogs don’t like her. But conservatives?
I like saying people are "bananas" these days - HA HA "BANANA" IS A FUNNY WORD - so I am happy to say that Daniel Oliver is bananas. There are other laffs to be had in the column, but try this out:
Are there other traits a president should have? [...] What about intelligence? Sure, intelligence helps—maybe. Quick, name one presidential decision made in the last 16 years, i.e., during the Clinton (Yale, Yale, Oral Roberts) and Bush (Yale, Harvard) years that you think was either right because the president was intelligent or wrong because he was not intelligent enough. Okay, take your time (oh, and sorry, I meant oral sex, not Oral Roberts).

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Killing Time - And Monsters

Sugared Explorer Lizard with Obnoxious French Grapes

Ingredients:
2 pints explorer lizard
5 jiggers nuclear grape, glazed
1 machine
7 gallons will-o'-deep tentacle, jellied
5 cups vanilla
6 gallons dill

Sacrifice a nearby southern flounder or a creature of similar size. Discard remains furtively. Cream the explorer lizard with a really big whisk. Use a food processor to combine the machine with the grape. Drizzle resulting potion over the explorer lizard. Stuff the will-o'-deep tentacle, vanilla, and the dill. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Bake for 34 hours. Serves 8.

Friday, January 29, 2010

A Series of Quick High-Pitched Screams

good talk:
I Went to the UNLV-Utah Basketball Game, Utah Won an Away Game 73-69 before 16,594 Against a Very Good UNLV Team. Both Teams Fought Like Heck, a Sign of Good Coaching. Utah Had a White Freshman Guard, Marshall Henderson, Who Dropped Five 3's on UNLV and a Couple Times After Stroking a Long 3 He Ran Down Court With His Arm in the Shooting Position, ha, ha, He Was A Cute Kid. They Brought This Heavy 15-Year Old Girl to Sing "The Star Spangled Banner" and Her Voice Was So Beautiful That Afterwards Everybody Was Looking at Each Other and Commenting, Few in the World Could Come Close, She Should Sing Opera. We're Losing Our Heritage, Few Americans Even Know How to Do the "Rebel Yell" (a Series of Quick High-Pitched Screams). Eerily I've Heard the UNLV Cheerleaders Do It Perfectly.
Witness our beloved M.Bouffant breaking down barriers without spilling a single drop of law-enforcement blood.

Our Hero

Your future:
Bill Gates has sunk at least $4.5 million of his personal wealth into geoengineering research.

While it’s only a small chunk of his vast personal fortune, it’s a sign that the founder of Microsoft thinks we should at least be looking into the controversial practice of intentionally altering the Earth’s climate on a global scale.

The Latest Orly Taitz Filing

Linked here.

Early in it:



It isn't really Orly Taitz making herself look like an idiot, it's "several convicted criminals and document forgers".

Also: THE PRESIDENT OWES ME MONEY. Woo woo!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

How's That Wall Coming?

Fun:
Immigrants More Likely to Have Jobs Than Native Born: Report
Foreign-born residents put more into economy than they take out of it, according to report.
By OLSEN EBRIGHT
Updated 11:57 AM PST, Thu, Jan 28, 2010
A new report shines a flattering light on California's immigrants.

Foreign-born residents are more likely to have jobs than native-born citizens, according to the report from the California Immigrant Policy Center. Also, immigrants put more into the economy than they take out of it, the Daily Breeze reported.

Los Angeles County Supervisor Mike Antonovich's office criticized the report for making no distinction between legal and illegal immigrants in the report.
Sure would be terrible if the folks who make California work stopped showing up.

Heh Heh Heh...

Over at the History News Network people are taking apart Jonah Goldberg's Liberal Fascism. Including Michael Ledeen. And - inadvertently of course - Jonah Goldberg.

Thanks to PeeJ for the tip.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Predicting the Future

A nut writes:
Headlines from the Year 2020

Here is what life will be like in the year 2020 if our civilization continues to go AWOL:
  • All business owners and executives now required to pass annual exam on ecology, sexual harassment, diversity, and the history of racial and gender discrimination in the workplace
  • Associated Press: Unexpectedly, unemployment surpasses 60%; experts confounded
  • All mineral, oil, and natural gas extraction outlawed in U.S. due to looming extinction of the boll weevil
  • Oliver Stone, on behalf of the Progressive movement, issues formal apology to Adolph Hitler for frequent and unwarranted comparisons with George W. Bush
  • Faculty at Harvard Dept. of Gender Studies admits responsibility for arson at Cambridge cinema showing a John Wayne film
  • National Endowment for the Arts spends $50 million on teaching pre-schoolers how to paint a canvas entirely black
  • City of London prohibits construction of new churches; Muslim groups protest “infidel trick” designed to allow existing structures to remain
[...]
Would you care to add your own headlines?
Well sure:
  • Beloved Pope Benedict XVI On Fast Track For Sainthood: Wore Shirt Made Of Hair From Good-Looking Boys
  • Andrew Breibart Reveals Long Lines At DMV
  • Intelligence Officials Acknowledge Blood From Stones Impossible But Blood Using Stones Quite Simple
Oh, and I forgot this part in what's above:
This is the fourteenth installment in a continuing series.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hey! The Pope Was Crazy!

Look:
The big religion story today is a new book that says Pope John Paul II used to whip himself both at home and on vacation. This is reported in Why He's a Saint, a new book by Monsignor Slawomir Oder, the Vatican advocate for JPII's canonization; a contradicting document is expected shortly from Christopher Hitchens.

Stupidity is Cheap

Stephanie Mencimer at Mother Jones:
Is President Barack Obama spending millions of dollars to hide the truth about his citizenship?

[...]

Roger West, an assistant US attorney in the central district of California, represented the government in a lawsuit brought by Taitz on behalf of perennial presidential candidate Alan Keyes, asking the court to require that Obama prove he is a natural-born citizen. The case has dragged on for more than a year, mostly because Taitz, a graduate of an online, unaccredited law school, failed to serve the defendants. Judge David O. Carter dismissed the suit in October for a host of reasons, but Taitz has appealed. Yet West says that far from bleeding his office, Taitz and her co-counsel Gary Kreep have assembled such a weak case that he hasn't had to spend much time on it. "I filed one motion that didn't take too long, we've had two hearings and that's it," he says. "It's not like we've devoted some sort of task force to this."

Ancient Earworms

Further News on the Diagnostic Front

The NY Times:
Beneath Brittany Lietz Cicala’s porcelain skin and flowing blond hair are blemishes from nearly three dozen surgeries to remove cancerous moles, including an eight-inch scar across her back. The 2006 Miss Maryland title-holder, Ms. Cicala, 24, blamed an obsession with tanning beds for triggering the cancer.

[...]

In Monday’s news conference at the Hearst Tower in Midtown, Ms. Cicala said she started tanning at age 17 and within two years became a “tanorexic” who fake baked at least four times a week. She believed tan was beautiful, she said. Now she feels differently.
What a brave woman. I use her strength to offer my confession: I am showerexic, compelled to clean myself every morning.

HUG ME.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Lessons in Diagnosis

What's Burt Prelutsky up to?
Burt’s Eye View: Leftist Pathology — Carbon More Dangerous Than Terrorists by Burt Prelutsky

Over the last few years, I have lost friends and become estranged from relatives because of politics.
Huh. Don't get why that might be.
If you’re convinced, as I am, that Barack Obama is the greatest menace America has ever faced — a far graver danger than Nazi Germany, the Soviet Union or Islamic fascism, simply because they all lacked the ability or determination to destroy our Constitution — losing a few friends and relatives is no big deal.
Oh. There we go. Burt is completely bananas. And look:
Psychiatrists are forever seeking the cause and cure of various diseases. They have focused on everything from paranoia to schizophrenia and clinical depression, but I think it’s high time they turned their attention to liberalism. It’s far more prevalent than those other mental disorders, and it appears to be particularly rampant among journalists, lawyers, union leaders and academics. Blacks, Jews and the young, are especially susceptible. And for reasons not entirely clear, it seems to strike hardest at people who reside near the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. So perhaps salt water plays a part in it.
Yes, the people you're scared of and think are Nazis and commies have some sort of mental problem. Well done.

Zombies!

Stupids for Smartness

A request:
Specifically, I request all documention relative to the degradation of America’s lovely “greenbacks.” I want to know exactly who requested the treasonous changes; exactly who authorized the violation of our classic and signature currency; exactly who implemented the changes. Please include copies of all proposals, agreements, and law(s), including copies of all official signatures, as well as a list of who voted, and how they voted, to change our money. (The coins are looking quite fake, as well. Did all of the treasury artists retire and take the molds with them?)

This is America. It does not belong to the Federal Reserve. It does not belong to the Treasury Department or any usurpers of power, especially any who wish to change America for the worse. We the People want back our lovely, detailed, well-designed greenbacks. Our greenbacks were works of art. Your pastels are ugly; tacky; and off-centered. We the People never gave either of you, nor the federal government, any permission to turn our beautiful, if fiat, currency into pastel-colored, badly designed, worthless-looking representatives — to be sent worldwide — of the (un)stability of America. Who authorized these Euro-style fakes?
Who, you ask, is this dedicated sprinkler of phrases and punctuation?
Linda Schrock Taylor, M.A., taught special education for 35 years in public schools. Now retired from teaching, she is finishing her book for reclaiming lives, “Rapid Reading Remediation;” and is running for Governor of Michigan on a platform for A Constitutional & Literate Michigan.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Hamster Fascism

Via the little one, an episode of Hamtaro:
As Laura grapples with what to give Travis for his birthday, Hamtaro shares the information with his Ham-Ham friends and proclaims “It seems that tomorrow is the day to give a present to someone you care about”. Dexter and Howdy like this idea and each decide to give Pashmina a gift. They also each decide to ask Hamtaro what they should give her and both get angry with him when they realize he is helping them both.

Laura decides to hand-embroider some towels for Travis, so Hamtaro suggests the boys also give Pashmina a hand-made present. At last they join forces and Dexter and Howdy make a cap and a pair of matching gloves. She couldn’t be happier with her presents, until sweet Penelope steps up to give Pashmina some sunflower seeds.
Exciting! Who's in this episode?
Featured Characters

Ham-Hams:

* Hamtaro
* Oxnard
* Boss
* Bijou
* Howdy
* Dexter
* Pashmina
* Penelope
* Maxwell
* Sandy
* Stan
* Snoozer (does not speak)
* Panda (does not speak)
* Cappy (does not speak)

Humans:

* Laura Haruna
* Marion Haruna
* Forrest Haruna
* Kana Iwata
* Kylie
* June
* Travis Kimura
* School Kids
* Several Nazis

Friday, January 22, 2010

Fibs Are Prominent

I've always had kind of a soft spot for Prong - boy that's fun to write. When I first heard them I figured their best work was chuggier Killing Joke, which was godlike prescience for second-rate metal on my part because they later snagged Killing Joke's bass player (though the somewhat inferior second one).

Anyway this song is now interesting to me because of misheard lyrics* that will not leave my brain, especially with a kid around:
What's all this for?
Bound and limited
Disregard my word
Fibs are prominent
Listen: fibs are a big fucking deal. So here's to you, Prong, and your understanding of youth:



*I don't actually know what the right lyrics are. Given the other mistakes in the link provided, these JUST CANNOT BE.

Apples to Oranges (Diseased Oranges That Lay Waste to Civilizations)

Jonah Goldberg:

A reader asks a good question about O'Brien's deal:

So a joker working for a company bailed out (indirectly) by the government gets $45 million — for failing. Where's the outrage, Captain Populist?

I don't have any problem with O'Brien's deal, though I wish he wasn't getting the shaft (he hasn't been great on The Tonight Show, but he's funnier than Leno).

But if O'Brien was a Wall Street guy gettingt $45 million for failing, Obama would be all over it.

Yes, Obama would be all over* the guy for helping to cause an economic meltdown taking the WORLD to the brink of economic collapse and costing millions people their livelihoods. As opposed to a guy quitting a TV show that will continue.

Speaking as an obviously watered-down leftist, I nevertheless support taxing Conan down to the hell that is the upper middle class.

*"All over" in this case meaning "issuing carefully-worded disapproval of".

Advice Required

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

My Friends, The Ford Escape Sucks

New transmission and all-wheel drive shaft required. This coincides with mandated extended warranty check-up #2.

Not No Idiot

Adam Baldwin damns George W. Bush with faint sense:
Yet, this good man, by the Lord’s grace, met the gravest of challenges, persevered and succeeded far beyond the subversive expectations of America’s enemies and craven-wordsmith critics – described by Edmund Burke as, “the little shrivelled, meagre, hopping, though loud and troublesome insects of the hour.”
I subversively thought he would be bad, and he was TERRIBLE.
In time, and with the benefit of “the distance of history”, objective chroniclers will no doubt cement President Bush’s collected record as Commander-in Chief as truly one of the greatest, albeit (as are all) imperfect, achievements in leadership and dignity that mankind has ever witnessed.
Cement still comes in the form of shoes, doesn't it?

A Select Audience

Some of you attract flies are interested in insects. Others should not be trusted with are interested in lasers. Some are just cocksuckers interested in penises. Thrill, then, to the story of a scientist who performs laser surgery on fly penises.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Better Headline

Frank Ross gives it a shot:
‘That’s Why We Have Fox’ — Mika Brezinski Admits the MSM is Liberal
My turn:
Right-Winger Stunned That Right-Wing Host Calls Media Left-Wing

Telepathic Ed Is Back

good talk:
A Recent Poll Showed That 58% of Americans Believe that Nigerian Should Be Waterboarded, A Nation of Deviates? We Just Got Finished With the Holidays and No Emotion Left And Now Martin Luther King Day Looms on the Horizon. Martin King Was Pretty Good But to Have a National Holiday for Him. Franklin Roosevelt Was the President When We Overcame the Great Depression and When WWII Was Almost Won, He Was the Only President Elected 3 Times and Was Elected a 4th and FDR Has No Day, Was Martin King a Better American than Franklin Roosevelt? They Should Just Throw It On With Columbus Day and Make It "Columbus and King Day," Has A Ring to It. "Sports Illustrated" Just Selected Their NFL Team of the Decade and of the 22 Position Players Two Were From Akron, Antoine Winfield from Akron Garfield and Mike Vrabel from Walsh Jesuit (Walsh is Just Outside of Akron but Vrabel is From Akron). Old Broken-Down Akron? A Boomtown for 50 Years With a Population of 300 Thousand Akron Was Down to 217,000 in the 2000 Census. Vrabel, a Defensive Player, Has the Interesting Statistic That When Used As An End of the 11 Passes That He Caught All Went For Touchdowns. I Think that I'd Rather Go To a High School Named After Somebody Good Instead of One Named After, Say, a Direction.

A Cool Smoking Bass Player

Fun With Google Translate



Not a lot of updating going on there.

Hmm...Thinking of a Solution Requiring Less Than a Few Minutes

How to Protect Yourself When Using Internet Explorer
It won't take more than a few minutes to close a security hole in Internet Explorer that allowed attacks against Google.
Preston Gralla, Computerworld
Jan 19, 2010 8:27 am
For god's sake people, just don't use it.

And:
Researchers have created attack code that exploits a zero-day vulnerability in Internet Explorer 7 (IE7) as well as in the newest IE8 -- even when Microsoft's recommended defensive measure is turned on.
And fuck Lotus Notes while we're at it. What kind of program turns triangle brackets into rounded ones when you send an email? Probably really an admin's fault, but JESUS CHRIST.

Monday, January 18, 2010

"together with the many bizarre claims made by Agca"

Mehmet Ali Agca, the attempted assassin of the Pope, is bananas:
The Pope later described Agca as a trained assassin who could not have been acting alone; but he also believed that both the attempt on his life and his survival were due to divine intervention.

He donated the bullet recovered from his abdomen to the shrine in Fatima, Portugal, where he believed the shooting had been foretold by the Virgin Mary to three local girls in 1917.
Whoops, that's not about what's-his-name, that's about Pope JPII! Apologies for the slip-up.

Re: Karen Finley

A Boing Boing guy posts about Karen Finley (with filthy audio) and generates this fine comment:
tsm_sf | #8 | 15:33 on Mon, Jan.18

There's something very nostalgic about Finley's art, for me at least.

Something so very "pre-internet" about trying to shock people out of their complacency... one picture of a gaping anus instantly disarmed a million hours of performance art.

Careful What You Wish For

Arnold Kling writes about talk radio and ends with:
Still, I think that the medium is the message. I do not think that radio, TV, or Youtube are going to produce strong intellectual discourse. I believe that the written word is the best medium for that. If conservatives master other media, they may win some political battles, but not any intellectual war.
There follow comments:
On the right, because we're assaulted by the leftist-media complex on a daily basis, we're constantly having our beliefs challenged. You can't escape the left's ideas, they come from the New York Times, all the papers that pick up stories from the Times, Time, Newsweek, CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC, NPR, etc. etc. etc.
and
Until the residents of those well-educated counties come to be educated by non-left anthropologists, historians, law professors, political scientists, and sociologists--and until, after they graduate, they are daily reminded of the application of what they were taught by MSM personnel who were similarly educated--the GOP will increasingly be the party of the uneducated.
and
"Conservative talk radio is bombastic." That paints in too broad strokes. Not all right-wing talk radio is alike. Bill Bennett, Michael Medved, and Dennis Prager are consistently thoughtful, willing to engage those with differing views, and respectful of others. Mark Levin is smart but screams and rants too much. Limbaugh is smarter than he sometimes gets credit for, but deviates from ideas too much because he loves ridiculing his enemies. Savage is worthless. Can't speak about Hannity or Beck, because I've only seen them on T.V., where they don't come across as subtle thinkers.
and
There is all sorts of good, *smart* conservative talk radio. I agree with Peter - Limbaugh gets sold short.

And to Prager, Medved and Bennett I add Hugh Hewitt; sharp, incisively intellectual, especially on matters of jurisprudence. Dennis Miller is also a treat. Jason Lewis is perhaps too intellectual for his own good.
and
The conservative talk show host don't argue 'intellectual' beliefs. They argue personal freedoms and property rights. What is "careful, reasoned" about that? Simple ideas are usually the best.
The intellectual arguments for conservatism await their champions.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Movies: I Don't Get Them

Here's some fun from Ben Shapiro:
Top 10 Most Overrated Directors of All Time
My suspicion is that this is a list not dissimilar from Ben's "Directors I've Heard Of" list. Here are the names:
10. Ridley Scott
9. Michael Mann
8. David Lean
7. Darren Aronofsky
6. Mike Nichols
5. David Lynch
4. Quentin Tarantino
3. Woody Allen
2. Martin Scorsese
1. Alfred Hitchcock
Now just for fun, here's the whole of his Hitchcock entry:
He’s not even close to the worst on the list, but he’s certainly the most overrated. He never made a great film. He was the Stephen King of the silver screen: he made films with great premises, but he never knew where to go from there. The psychoanalysis at the end of Psycho is laughable. North by Northwest relies on the tried-and-true random helpful coincidence to save our hero, time and again. It brings to mind one of Twain’s rules of writing, directed toward Fenimore Cooper: “the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausibly set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable.” Not so much for Hitchcock. Spellbound once again relies on amateur psychoanalysis. Notorious is the same movie as Rebecca. Rear Window makes one reach for the fast-forward button. Vertigo makes one reach for the cyanide. The Birds quickly becomes inane. If you want to see good Hitchcock, rent Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Restricted to the one hour medium, he’s at his best. Left to his own devices, he’s slightly better than mediocre.
I was initially looking for Ben's exceptionally stupid column about how the ACLU should totally sue the Metropolitan Museum of Art but the "I don't like or understand movies" bit was funnier.

What Makes You Unique

...is what you shop for.




From Dolltopia, a failed attempt to make punk politics work in a comic for kids.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Friday, January 15, 2010

Spoiler Alert

Via the Kermode podcast we reprint the British Board of Film Classification's overview of OSS 177:
OSS 117 - RIO NE REPOND PLUS is the sequel to OSS 117 - LE CAIRE, NID D'ESPIONS. It features Jean Dujardin as Hubert, a.k.a. 'OSS 117', a secret agent sent on a mission to Rio de Janeiro in 1967 to obtain a microfilm from a former high-ranking Nazi. He is accompanied by a female agent who is also searching for the exiled Nazi with the intention of taking him back to Israel to stand trial. The film was classified '15' for containing strong language, sex references and drug use.

At '15', the BBFC's Guidelines state that 'there may be frequent use of strong language (for example, ‘fuck’). Sexual activity may be portrayed without strong detail. There may be strong verbal references to sexual behaviour, but the strongest references are unlikely to be acceptable unless justified by context. Drug taking may be shown but the film as a whole must not promote or encourage drug misuse'.

In OSS 117 - RIO NE REPOND PLUS there are several uses of strong language, some of them sexualised. These uses are generally spoken in English by an American character, and so are not subtitled.

The strong sex references occur during a scene in which a group of characters have an orgy. We see nude women and men kissing each other as they writhe in a mass on the beach - there is extensive sight of breast nudity and also a glimpse of a woman's pubic hair. As the scene continues we see multiple windows showing men and women kissing each other gleefully, the kneading of buttocks and so on. There is also the comedic implication that a man is going to insert his finger into another man's bottom but this is not shown, as with other sexual activity which is masked by the camera angles used.

This aforementioned scene also begins with sight of a character being given LSD - he clearly doesn't know what it is and this lack of knowledge is clearly intended for comedic effect as is the hippie lifestyle that the scene promotes, with the character also subsequently haunted by his lack of inhibition while under the influence of the drug.

The film also contains some racism but as with the drug references this element is clearly played for satirical purposes, with the hero Hubert referring to the Chinese as "dirty yellows" and "Chinks", and telling a character that Israel is like a Nazi-occupied country. The character is shown to be something of an idiot, and the film as a whole lampoons some of the attitudes to race in media of the day.

Also present is some infrequent moderate violence with sight of blood as characters are shot, but this is shown without explicit detail. There is also sight of smoking throughout the film.
The BBFC is like the ChildCare Action Project but more knowingly fun. Their adult film feed is fun (although light on description) because you know it's a government job to consider OLDTIMERS, STILL HOT AND WET 15.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The World in Words

The World in Words is an interesting podcast. Most recently:
Hebrew is most successful attempt ever at language revival. We find out why. Also, Malaysians are rioting after a court rules that a Catholic newspaper can use the word Allah. Then, two reports on alphabet letters: in Sweden, parents win the right to name their newborn Q; and in Turkey, using the Kurdish-associated letters Q, W or X can land you in jail. And, a two-nations-divided-by-one-language examination of the word grit.
Via the piece on Hebrew a sad sad story:
Ittamar Ben-Avi, in his autobiography, describes (albeit somewhat over-romanticized), some of the drastic precautions taken by Ben-Yehuda to ensure his son would hear—and thus ultimately speak—only Hebrew. Thus, for example, when visitors came to the house who did not know Hebrew, Ben-Yehuda would send him to bed so that he would not hear their foreign languages. Similarly, he would not let the child listen to “the chirping of the birds and the neighing of horses, the braying of donkeys and the fluttering of butterflies, because even they are, after all, foreign languages, at any rate not Hebrew.” Indeed, the child only began to speak at the relatively late age of four. His mother could not keep to Ben-Yehuda's demand, and speak to the child only in Hebrew. One day, when Ben-Yehuda was out of the house, she began absent-mindedly singing lullabies to the child in her native Russian. Ben-Yehuda had returned early and when he heard Russian being used inside his house, he rushed in and began shouting. Ittamar wrote about the bitter scene that followed: “It caused a great shock to pass over me when I saw my father in his anger and my mother in her grief and tears, and the muteness was removed from my lips, and speech came to my mouth.”
And Baby Named Metallica Rocks Sweden.

Photoshop in Practice

The International University, Missouri, USA:



A google image search still has this lonelier version cached:



A completely non-suspicious assertion:
All Academic Institutions should engage themselves in practicing ethics and respect for all Institutions, irrespective of status of being a Federal University (State or Government funded) or Non Federal University. The Universities should not implant the seeds of bias, discrimination and jealously in the minds of the students. All Universities, whether Government or Non-Government must respect Constitutional freedom of Citizens to choose any University to further their career goals.

Details

You can't leave this just hanging out there:
Russell Lewis Oakes registered as a vet in the UK after buying a fake degree certificate on the Internet. Authorities investigated after area veterinarians complained about the quality of his work. Oakes had been treating horses, dogs, and humans.
A more complete and appalling story here.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Osmonds: Heavy



I used to have an eight-track of Phase III. It was good. Maybe not this good.

A New Species of Spider

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Oreo Barbie

Here's something I knew nothing about before this morning and the little one's unceasing Google abuse:

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Death Metal Rooster

It is a wonderful thing when you find something that speaks to your soul.



MagicBee suggests circular breathing. Compare and contrast:



Saw this performed recently:



More or less satisfying than Joe Satriani? You decide.

Justme supplies Hatebeak, and I am grateful:

I Like Wacky Packages

One can only hope that the technology required to create Wacky Packages has made it to the southern hemisphere.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Ta-Nehisi Coates

A plot to make Andrew Sullivan look good? See, you know your good writer has shit arguments, so maybe you let a shit writer make the good arguments and the consent you manufacture will be juuuuuuussst right.

The Shins - Turn a Square

I haven't watched the video here,
the song's fine though.
So be warned:
there could be PORN
OR GORE, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

New JanusNodes

A little birdie has informed me that you can find JanusNode 2.1 here. Windows and Mac.
Here's Mr. Sikdod's dawnning fawn.
Hi Mr. Sikdod!
Hi boisterous blond...
That's no pensive fawn...
Goodbye Mr. Sikdod!
You need an etiological con!

Hello!
Hello skill?
Good bye skill.

Hi foreign philosophy!

Here's Miss Pleexseep's applied con?
Hi Miss Pleexseep!
Hi eating brawn...
What a preeminent blond.
Goodbye Miss Pleexseep!
Go get a crooning bomb!

The Definition of Calamity

Via Big Hollywood, Col. Brian Salas:
Lost amid the staggering commercial success of “Avatar” and obscured by the punditry of the left and right as they debate James Cameron’s social and historical commentary are the real warriors whose heroism, valor and selfless service has allowed the U.S. to leave a war in Iraq that many in 2006 thought was unwinnable and indeed salvage success from the jaws of calamity.
Yessir, it looked like killing all those people and ruining a country wasn't going to work out, BUT IT HAS. Thanks to people with guns.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Blame SATAN

In contrast to the dreaded expansion of the Ummah Wahida in Nigeria, the welcome spread of peaceful Christianity is bringing blessings:
"After struggling for more than 10 years without a job, I decided to go to churches for deliverance," he said. "All the churches I went to, the pastors told me that my mother is responsible for my jobless state. They told me that my mother had sold her children's destiny to the devil. I looked back at my other siblings' life and I found out that what the pastors said was true; none of my mother's children was making any progress in life. The pastors told me that unless my mother is eliminated, none of us can make it in life."
See also the Christian Millionaire Club.

That said, Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Anticipation

What's this?

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Awwwwww...



Note that I provide you with better links than Big Hollywood does.

This Ain't Your Mama's Physical Therapy

From a site in Riyadh, a lesson in automated juxtaposition:

No Changes, Just More

The fact is, Real Republicans will never take your free education you unnatural disease-carrying drip-pirates.

Pirr peerr piply you inebriated fags! You stinking inebriated bureaucrat-fools, go torment your screams. You'll get your carbon tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Americans!!!

The fact is, The Heartland will never take your health care you ignorant motherfucking snake-cancers.

The fact is, your Afghanistan pullout is not in the Constitution, you dishonest boorish fool-deviants.

Fut fet ficle you commies. You ugly demon-aliens, why don't you go annoy your mates! You'll get your carbon tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Conservatives!!!

The fact is, your carbon tax is not in the Constitution, you hippies.

The fact is, Real Americans will never take your gays in the military you ass-fucking commies.

The fact is, True Conservatives will never take your minimum wage you Obamabots.

The fact is, your free day care is not in the Constitution, you suffocating commies.

Purr parr paming, you fags!! You idiotic devil-screw-ups, I hope that your small furry mammals will place obstacles before your knees! How's Hillary Clinton working for you now? Got your free education yet?

Hello slimy communists. You sodden suffocating chump-idiots, I hope that your lives will mutilate your closest companions! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Republicans!!

Munn meennay, you cum-guzzling sissies. May a stranger make you spew cellular pain, you inane airheads! You'll get your minimum wage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Conservatives!!

Hello stinking sissies!!! May a hellish sensation wallow in you, you idiotic unschooled chunks of sheepshead's jails! You'll get your cap and trade when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Republicans!!

The fact is, your carbon tax is not in the Constitution, you nutty knave-dolts.

The fact is, Real Republicans will never take your cap and trade you unnatural hippies.

Greetings sodden DemocRATs!!! You problematic ugly dunce-chumps, go wreck your ears. How's Obambi working for you now? Got your Iraq pullout yet?

The fact is, Real Republicans will never take your gay marriage you cocksucking demon-fakers.

Greetings frightening Obamabots. You loathsome pathetic failure-sack of sacks of flesh, I hope that your lives will damn your skins! How's Al Franken working for you now? Got your Iraq pullout yet?

The fact is, your free education is not in the Constitution, you greasy failure-creeps.

What's happening cum-guzzling hippies!!! May a leap into the unknown bring curses upon satisfaction, you horrid fucking velvet-belly shark-followers! You'll get your health care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots!!!

The fact is, Conservatives will never take your free day care you sissies.

Gab geb googly, you DemocRATs!!! You slobby myopic schmuck-tumours, I hope that your natures will vomit out your lovers! How's Nancy Pelosi working for you now? Got your free day care yet?

Hi commies!!! May an angel's snotty-nosed child rip up a sense of wonder, you fiendish canid-eaters! You'll get your mortgage cramdown when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Conservatives!!

The fact is, True Conservatives will never take your Iraq pullout you simple-minded reptile-devils.

Greetings batty communists!!! May your spider give diseases to your basic needs, you maniacal globs of climbing perch's scorpionfishes! How's Barack Hussein Obama working for you now? Got your carbon tax yet?

Hi grotesque fags. You sodden fucking hoohoo-pirates, why don't you go wallow in your family values. How's Obambi working for you now? Got your minimum wage yet?

Howdy sissies. May your employer's angel make you drip idiotic snot, you obscene airheads! You'll get your gay marriage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Conservatives!!

The fact is, your carbon tax is not in the Constitution, you homos.

The fact is, True Patriots will never take your Afghanistan pullout you useless sissies.

Hi communists!!! A disguised death wish is more than you deserve, you primitive turkeys! You'll get your free day care when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Conservatives!!

Hi homos! May faith make your kidney ooze chapfallen hillstream loach's sweat, you sad warts! How's Harry Reid working for you now? Got your equal rights yet?

Kutt katt kaking, you rotten fags!! Gossip is the best you can hope for, you problematic yobs! You'll get your estate tax when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Real Americans.

The fact is, Red Staters who will stop you will never take your Afghanistan pullout you grotesque vulgar knave-knaves.

The fact is, your cap and trade is not in the Constitution, you hippies.

Zem zem zoocle you drunken Obamabots!!! May nature's best friend place obstacles before you, you debauched gibbering globs of leg's hands! How's Al Franken working for you now? Got your minimum wage yet?

The fact is, your minimum wage is not in the Constitution, you maniacal zero-dipsticks.

Zeebb zeebb zufle, you ill-begotten homos! May your accountant's misunderstanding draw blood from you, you horrifically deadly ass-raping driftfish-lipses! You'll get your Iraq pullout when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Conservatives.

Howdy disgusting homos!!! Repetition is too good for you, you slovenly nerds! You'll get your minimum wage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of True Patriots.

Fun fun fugle rancid hippies!! May a belief system vomit out you, you horrifically odious sign-lovers! How's Sean Penn working for you now? Got your gays in the military yet?

Gupp geepp gooping, you insufferable Obamabots!! May being kind to someone you don't like assassinate your spouse, you pathetically bastard slobby insect-faces! How's Barney Frank working for you now? Got your equal rights yet?

Greetings homos! May your angel's desire impede you, you frighteningly sodden sack of damselfly's butterflies! How's Michael Moore working for you now? Got your estate tax yet?

Howdy Obamabots!!! You self-pitying grotesque sack of neuroses-abominations, why don't you go bring zits to your tongues. You'll get your minimum wage when you pry it out of the cold dead hands of Tea Party Americans!!!

The fact is, Real Americans will never take your Iraq pullout you drunken hippies.

The fact is, your equal rights is not in the Constitution, you accursed goof-bureaucrats.

Feeg fug feming inane hippies!!! You are nothing more than ill-begotten contemptible sack of neuroses, you dromedary's cows! How's Obambi working for you now? Got your health care yet?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

"Merely Clumsy Bombast"

Adam Baldwin checks to see if the gun's loaded from the wrong end:
Forgiving all that for now as merely clumsy bombast, their point — and others’ like Tom Shales is clearly to intimidate Americans. It is to thwart and punish people who speak publicly in Jesus’ name. It is to force people into adhering to Secularism’s unwritten rulebook and principles, not the Bible or First Amendment — whither the Free Exercise Clause?

Bad Beyoncé! BAD!


Note: ugly badly-dressed crazy maniac nearer to Beyoncé than you.

Via Big Hollywood, a link to some virtual gossip rag:
On Sunday, Mediaite reported that singer Beyoncé Knowles had given a private New Year’s Eve performance for an exclusive crowd in St. Barth — and made the case that she had performed and been paid by relatives of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi (variously known as Khadafy, Qaddafi, Quadhafi and more). Atlanta-based blogger Necole Bitchie reported a $2 million fee; the UK Mirror reported a “six-figure sum” and yesterday Media Takeout made the same claim, repeating the $2 million number and confirming the Gaddafi-hosted party from a guest who was there (hip-hop impresario Russell Simmons also placed Beyoncé at a “Khadafy party.” Today Page Six confirms our original report, with one new piece of information: the party was thrown by Moutassim Gaddafi, known as Hannibal, son of the Libyan dictator who less than a week before made headlines for allegedly attacking his wife in a London hotel.
Complaints about Mariah Carey performing the year before at a different Ghaddafi son's event: big whoop. She was married to Tommy fuckin' Mottola and you're surprised she's hanging out with the son of a dictator?

Avatar

Via Boing Boing, Avatar.

UPDATE TO MAKE FISH'S COMMENT LOOK SCARY!

Jonah Goldberg is pretty much right.

Easterbrook: Trust me, no scientician would buy this story.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Burt Prelutsky Writes Something Funny

It's true!
This is the time of year when most people are busy resolving to do better in the future. Some people vow to go on diets or exercise more, some promise to give up smoking or booze. But, year in and year out, I vow to cut liberals more slack and give them the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, just as with other people’s good intentions, my own rarely last until nightfall. The difference is that the reason mine die on the vine, as it were, has nothing to do with my own lack of character, but everything to do with the failings of liberals.

For one thing, liberals are hypocritical. [...]
Now we just have to figure out whether or not it was intentional.

The Washington Bullets

Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton gamble in the locker room:
Here is the story that Crittenton and Arenas plan to tell police on Monday, sources said: When the Wizards returned to practice, Arenas unlocked three unloaded guns out of a strong box in his locker and laid them on a locker-room chair and instructed Crittenton to choose one. The Washington Post reported Crittenton had playfully threatened to shoot Arenas in his knee on the plane, and that offering him a gun to deliver the deed was a way of trying to diffuse the tension.

Only Crittenton, feeling belittled and bullied, tossed one of the guns to the floor in anger and the tone between the two players escalated again. One NBA executive, briefed on the investigation, said Saturday, “The law is going to start trying to isolate them. Once the entire interrogation starts, you have to wonder if the stories will start changing.”

The New York Post reported in its Friday edition the two players drew weapons against each other. Sources say league attorneys discussed with NBA staff the possibility of Arenas brandishing a weapon in a threatening manner, but league officials hadn’t dug deep enough to be sure, and ultimately are waiting for the U.S. Attorney’s Office and D.C. police to conclude their investigation and make a decision on whether to bring charges.
What the heck from Thundra:

The Human Cost

Covers

I like Perfect Way, despite the almost instantly dated production from Arif Mardin which sounded kooky at the time too. Is it possible that its best use is as a demonstration that Miles Davis put out a lot of pure shit?