Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Pretty obvious the powers that be knew what they were embarking on was sick, wrong, and worthy of prosecution. Bring on the trials. If that includes Democrats, boo hoo, cry me a river.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I think Dennis Prager should let me know why I shouldn't steal his stuff to pay my bills.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Pirates Closer to Our ShoresHelp!
All Americans breathed a sign of relief when news broke of the U.S. Navy Seals rescue of the Maersk Alabama captain from terrorist pirates off the Somalia coast.Whoa, okay. Calming down. That rescue was something else.
Unfortunately, there are other pirates - much closer to our shores – who are insidiously more dangerous.AAAAHHHH! Scared again!
Richard Phillips, captain of the Maersk Alabama, had volunteered himself to free one of his crewmen who had been taken hostage by the pirates. The standoff that followed went on for five days as the pirates demanded $2 million dollars ransom to free the captain and the American-registered container ship.It was so suspenseful that I'm repeeing my pants!
President Obama handled that situation well by not handling it directly. He authorized and left the pirate situation in the hands of the U.S. Navy, who brilliantly managed and resolved the hostage situation off Africa.Sigh of relief. Whew.
But closer to home, the real-life “Pirates of the Caribbean” are more difficult for Mr. Obama. That’s because Mr. Obama is more directly involved, and he has not gotten off to a good start.What? IS OBAMA A PIRATE HIMSELF?
One reason, of course, is that these “pirates” are not fictional Hollywood movie characters. Rather, they are real and, as most Americans have figured out, they are highly-experienced, unsavory characters. As we have seen over the years, each of them has been idolized by a number of Hollywood actors whose personal political character is shallow at best.Oh. I see. IT IS A METAPHOR.
Caribbean Pirates Hugo Chavez and the brothers Castro have already hijacked the Obama ship of state [...]
Not to diminish the crime here - although it's obvious to anybody that shitty environments yield shitty behaviour in all but the best of us - but why do the following individuals get the shaft and nobody else?
Should they be pardoned? Or should the people who instituted the environment and the behaviour be sharing cells with some of 'em? I haven't really seen much mention of the folks who are ALREADY IN PRISON over these policies and it would be useful for journalists to ask the torture apologists and the pardoners what the following people are an example of. Justice? Injustice? Getting caught too soon?
Text ripped off from Wikipedia:
Courts-martial, nonjudicial, and administrative punishment
Twelve soldiers have been convicted of various charges relating to the incidents, all including dereliction of duty—most receiving relatively minor sentences. Two soldiers have either been cleared of charges or have not been charged. No one has been convicted for murders of detainees.
- Colonel Thomas Pappas was relieved of his command on May 13, 2005 after receiving nonjudicial punishment on May 9, 2005 for two instances of dereliction, including that of allowing dogs to be present during interrogations. He was fined $8000 under the provisions of Article 15 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice (nonjudicial punishment). He also received a General Officer Memorandum of Reprimand (GOMOR) which effectively ends his military career.
- Lieutenant Colonel Steven L. Jordan became the highest ranking Army officer to have charges brought against him in connection with the Abu Ghraib abuse on April 29, 2006. Prior to his trial, eight of twelve charges against him were dismissed, two of the most serious after Major General George Fay admitted that he did not read Jordan his rights before interviewing him in reference to the abuses that had taken place. On August 28, 2007, Jordan was acquitted of all charges related to prisoner mistreatment and received a reprimand for disobeying an order not to discuss a 2004 investigation into the allegations.
- Specialist Charles Graner was found guilty on January 14, 2005 of conspiracy to maltreat detainees, failing to protect detainees from abuse, cruelty, and maltreatment, as well as charges of assault, indecency, adultery, and obstruction of justice. On January 15, 2005, he was sentenced to ten years in federal prison.
- Corporal Joshua Lee Betts, of the 321st Military Intelligence Battalion, Detachment 9, pled innocent on October 20, 2004 to conspiracy, dereliction of duty, maltreatment of detainees, assault, and numerous violations of Geneva Convention, and human rights violation. Cpl. Joshua Lee Betts was later cleared of all charges.
- Staff Sergeant Ivan Frederick pled guilty on October 20, 2004 to conspiracy, dereliction of duty, maltreatment of detainees, assault and committing an indecent act in exchange for other charges being dropped. His abuses included making three prisoners masturbate. He also punched one prisoner so hard in the chest that he needed resuscitation. He was sentenced to eight years in prison, forfeiture of pay, a dishonorable discharge and a reduction in rank to private.
- Sergeant Javal Davis pled guilty February 4, 2005 to dereliction of duty, making false official statements and battery. He was sentenced to six months in prison, a reduction in rank to private, and a bad conduct discharge.
- Specialist Jeremy Sivits was sentenced on May 19, 2004 by a special court-martial to the maximum one-year sentence, in addition to being discharged for bad conduct and demoted, upon his plea of guilty.
- Specialist Armin Cruz of the 325th Military Intelligence Battalion was sentenced on September 11, 2004 to eight months confinement, reduction in rank to private and a bad conduct discharge in exchange for his testimony against other soldiers.
- Specialist Sabrina Harman was sentenced on May 17, 2005 to six months in prison and a bad conduct discharge after being convicted on six of the seven counts. She had faced a maximum sentence of 5 years.
- Specialist Megan Ambuhl was convicted on October 30, 2004, of dereliction of duty and sentenced to reduction in rank to private and loss of a half-month’s pay.
- Private First Class Lynndie England was convicted on September 26, 2005, of one count of conspiracy, four counts of maltreating detainees and one count of committing an indecent act. She was acquitted on a second conspiracy count. England had faced a maximum sentence of ten years. She was sentenced on September 27, 2005, to three years confinement, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, reduction to Private (E-1) and received a dishonorable discharge.
- Sergeant Santos Cardona was convicted of dereliction of duty and aggravated assault, the equivalent of a felony in the U.S. civilian justice system. He served 90 days of hard labor at Ft. Bragg, North Carolina. He was transferred to a new unit and was promoted to Sergeant. He is currently assigned to the 23rd MP Company that is presently staged in Kuwait as of November 2006. He has arrived in Kuwait with his unit and has been selected to train Iraqi police.
- Specialist Roman Krol pled guilty on February 1, 2005 to conspiracy and maltreatment of detainees at Abu Ghraib. He was sentenced to ten months confinement, reduction in rank to private, and a bad conduct discharge.
- Specialist Israel Rivera, who was present during abuse on October 25, is under investigation but has not been charged and has testified against other soldiers.
- Sergeant Michael Smith was found guilty on March 21, 2006 of two counts of prisoner maltreatment, one count of simple assault, one count of conspiracy to maltreat, one count of dereliction of duty and a final charge of an indecent act, and sentenced to 179 days in prison, a fine of $2,250, a demotion to private, and a bad conduct discharge.
Apple may be a genius when it comes to branding its products, but when it comes to public relations, the company is in a dead heat with Google for the crown of worst company in the world.I dunno, it seems to me that there are companies with a worse rep, given, oh, the GLOBAL FINANCIAL CRISIS and all.
Nevertheless how can one disagree that free speech itself is under assault when Apple won't host a baby-shaking app for your iPhone?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
As if Miss Catholic Family Values upstairs is not enough, looka Rich Galen:
The Scarlet Letter [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
From the King James Bible, Romans 2:19What follows is an article about how Obama might be mean to torturers. The advice is to heed the Bible and not be so judgemental dude! Mellow out!
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, "Vengeance is mine; I will repay," saith the Lord.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Because I am a conservative, I am obviously a racist. Because I am a conservative, I am a homophobe. Because I am a conservative, I am Islamaphobic. Because I am a conservative, I am hateful. And, Homeland Security says I’m a right wing extremist. B.S. If conservatives were endangered by global warming, the left would abandon their hysteria about it. The last few weeks have been incredible in terms of the left exerting their new found power. They are punch drunk with sinister goals.I love that last sentence so much I titled a blog post after it!
What follows is blather about nice, truth-telling conservative media under assault from, er, people who call them names. Lookit:
Much of the media, as Rush Limbaugh says, has become “butt boys” with the administration. The fact of the matter is, there is no journalism in America. There is only conservative talk radio and Fox News to oppose the administration. They, in turn, call us ”tea-baggers.” I didn’t know that was something conservatives spent much time contemplating.FAGS CALLED US DIRTY NAMES! Let us celebrate the non-hateful non-homophobic character of that paragraph, because it really could have gotten ugly.
Also, particular Conservative Media Personalities have a legitimate and meticulously spelled out argument against Media Matters:
According to many of these conservative media personalities, Media Matters takes comments out of context to further their cause of accusing conservatives of being hateful.Imagine some silly bugger whose cause is to accuse conservatives of being hateful, but can't quite get there without TAKING CONTEXT AWAY FROM COMMENTS! Such a man might be roaming Pakistan searching for enriched uranium for his context-removal reactor. Also, FAGS:
At a Tea Party rally, I saw some hope and optimism that Americans who have traditional core values are still hopeful. Despite negative press by the mainstream “butt boys”, they are still optimistic that they can have an impact on the future of our great country.Y'see? Nobody who sees hope that Americans are hopeful could be hateful or homophobic. Only "butt boys" would say so.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
After he told Cyrus to make a sex tape and get a heroin addiction, Foxx celebrated: "We back! We back! It's another episode of smell my finger." Slang dictionaries say that last insult "carries an erotic implication."
NOW ADMIT YOU WILL FUCK THE MAGIC PONIES FOR CREAM BUNS!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
George Stephanopoulos: So what is the responsible way? That's my question. What is the Republican plan to deal with carbon emissions, which every major scientific organization has said is contributing to climate change?Okay, carcinogens, climate change, carbon-dioxide, methane, yadda yadda yadda. What's clear to me is that John Boehner compared his breath to cow farts, and this, Americans, is the kind of honesty and clarity you can expect from Republicans.
House Minority Leader John Boehner, Master of the Pretend Budget: George, the idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen that is harmful to our environment is almost comical. Every time we exhale, we exhale carbon dioxide. Every cow in the world, you know, when they do what they do, you've got more carbon dioxide. And so I think it's clear...
Saturday, April 18, 2009
1. "Recently, I was called cranky"
2. Carl Bernstein is portrayed in movies and that sucks but Che Guevara in movies is worse.
3. Christopher Hitchens will repent when he dies.
4. Women are greedy.
5. Women are terrible women.
6. The greedy terrible women are probably liberals, who hate women.
7. Liberals are hypocrites.
8. Liberals destroyed Cliff Robertson.
9. The UN sucks.
10. Obama's a socialist and everyone knows that's bad except for dummies.
11. Taxes something something.
12. You should be outraged about Obama being near Muslims.
There once was a writer called Burt
Did I tell you all that my feet hurt?
I don't like Charo that much
Some great painters were Dutch
Ladies should really wear skirts.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Most libertarians — and all conservatives — aren't anarchists. They believe in some minimal form of government to ensure what the reader calls democratic government. I would have no problem whatsoever paying 25% of my income to ensure democratic government, if that is what it cost. The problem is that democratic government doesn't cost anywhere close to that. It is deeply misleading or dishonest for liberals to argue that we need high taxation to pay for the security of our democratic liberty while that taxation goes to paying for things that have nothing to do with those liberties and, in many cases, goes to pay for things that are inimical to liberty.Hmm, I dunno the "liberals" who are arguing only about the cost of the security of our democratic liberty to starve in the street if we get sick or old or just unemployed, but yes, democracy turns out to be a bummer in which some people get their way and others don't. An important practical demonstration of this is called an "election". Strangely, some of these "elections" produce leaders who call themselves "conservatives" and spend like drunken sailors in Drunken Sailor Enticement Land (which I presume would be full of stores full of cute blue-and-white outfits, mops, and nifty whistles), increasing the size and scope and debt of government, and giving themselves the power to do whatever the hell they like with you if they dislike the content of your email. Pictured below is an example of this titan of conservatism Jonah is dreaming of:
Taxes are tyrannical simply because they are not voluntary.True for the Wal-Mart greeter who I am sure is upset that the government demands taxes when his kids are being helicoptered to private school, but not true for people rich enough to move. Bye!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Fearless men hitch up their truss
Men who mean some things they say
The brave men of Teabag Day
Home-made buttons upon their chest
Men who wheeze and take a rest
One hundred men teabag today
One hundred came on Teabag Day
Trained to live off noodles canned
Trained to march, to marching bands
Weighty men, the scales must say
Earn Nutty Wings on Teabag Day
Tomato sauce upon their chest
Men upon a noble quest
Men who gladly join the fray
Men who yearn for Teabag Day
Back at home a young wife waits
On Teabag Day, a bitter fate
Her man has tried another way
Leaving her on Teabag Day
“Put Nutty Wings on my son’s chest
Have him foul America’s nest
Make him a man of whom they’ll say
‘I want him!’ for Teabag Day”
Hat tip for the idea but surprisingly I ran with the juvenile angle rather than the political one.
Y'know, maybe some context is good:
And the Shame of Seger:
Along similar lines and via Mr. Atrios and Media Matters we have Marc Ambinder writing:
Litmus Test [John Derbyshire]
One of the downsides of being on the political Right is all those tedious arguments about who is or is not a true conservative. I generally fall asleep in between the fourth and fifth mentions of Ayn Rand, but a lot of Righties seem to get pleasure from that sort of thing.
Seems to me it's quite easy to come up with a litmus test. For example: If you are outraged and disgusted by that DHS report, then you are a conservative. If not, not.
If -- and we'll have to see the numbers at the end of the day -- 100,000 Americans show up to protest their taxes, the onus to dismiss them as a nascent political force shifts to the Democrats.Well, if I was to suggest that .03% of the populace was moderately nutty I'd expect almost everybody would look at me and say "That's it?" after which we'd laugh and hoist a - wait, what's this?
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Barack Obama promised Americans his administration would reform the "monstrous" U.S. tax system as millions faced the dreaded annual deadline on Wednesday for filing income tax returns.Oh dear. Looks like some positively Clintonian issue theft. Teabaggers, consider yourselves teabagged.
Obama used Tax Day, a national ritual of public frustration due to the confusing tax code, to underscore his drive to cut taxes for many Americans while increasing spending to jolt the United States out of its worst recession in decades.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Some seem familiar.
3) Passing on information that you know is a lie about a political opponent.
5) Putting an earmark in a bill in order to enrich your friends, family, or yourself.
20) Trying to rig an election, win a seat in the courts that you lost at the ballot box, or trying to insure phony votes are counted.
23) Living off the charity of others or the government dole AND feeling no shame over it.
*Funny because it's true!
By the men who fish for moose;
The forest trails have their secret tales
That would make your bowels turn loose;
In Newman's Lake the fishers partake
Of the bounty of net and harpoon
But the greatest catch was a frosty batch
Of ice-moose caught under the moon
What to say about it?
Self-described Black American Conservative Lloyd Marcus was feted last Friday night before the Santa Barbara Tea Party by famed songwriter Tom Snow at Snow’s fabulous Montecito mansion overlooking the valley and Pacific Ocean beyond.Ooo! Rootsy!
Pajamas Media TV has discovered him and brought him on board to be the face of PJTV’s American Tea Party project.Let us spit-take. And embed once more as this, my friends, is promising:
During an hour-long interview on my radio program The Andrea Shea King Show, Lloyd and his wife Mary [...]I confess this throws me somewhat.
“Oh! And I have to tell you!” he excitedly interrupts himself. “This is a perfect example of the American spirit because the day before the Tea Party, the organizers were told that they could not have a singer! And their venue got scared and backed out. They had already flown me in from Florida."More grass rootery!
After the rally, emcee and national talk radio host Tammy Bruce passed along a message to Lloyd that Mike Leahy of Top Conservatives on Twitter, or TCOT, wanted to talk to him. Leahy is the publisher and editor of the TCOTreport.com, and has taken the lead in organizing most of the Tea Parties to date. He recently joined Pajamas Media TV where he hosts a regular online Tea Party update newscast.Et cetera.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
A recent poll found that 80% of so-called independents favor Democrats over Republicans when it comes to national security. That, in a nutshell, tells us all we need to know about most people who identify themselves as independents or moderates. For if there is any one issue on which sane people would give Republicans the edge, it would be national security.U is for the Useless one I see
That brings us to the United States, a country that under Obama is rapidly becoming a place that would be unrecognizable to the freedom-loving architects who framed our Constitution and pledged their very lives and fortunes to creating a nation of, by and for the people. It was a nation dedicated to the rights of the individual and based on Judeo-Christian principles, and not one that views Castro’s Cuba through red-colored glasses.R is Really Really wrong like Mikheil Saakashvili
For instance, in Afghanistan, the farmers recently called for a meeting with U.S. Marines in order to alert them to the fact that they will be in their fields at night harvesting opium poppies. They wanted to make sure that the Marines didn’t take them for members of the Taliban and shoot them by mistake. Like the farmers, I also don’t want our Marines to shoot them by mistake.P is funnier than T because it's Punnier
As I have always contended, anyone who doesn’t regard himself as a conservative or at least a Republican is nearly always a liberal in sheep’s clothing who simply doesn’t wish to be pigeonholed. I have an acquaintance who kept insisting for years that he was an independent. When I finally pinned him to the wall and demanded he name the last Republican he had voted for, he admitted it was Richard Nixon in 1972! Which makes him just about as independent as Howard Dean or James Carville.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
President Obama had a grand time in Europe. He wowed the press, met the queen, gave some wonderful news conferences and got virtually none of the major policy concessions he wanted. But he did do a lot of talking, for what that's worth.Following which are two examples of clunky language that omit the all-important word "terror". Because, you know, how could using the word "terror" a lot be misleading and form a crucial part of the propaganda effort to start a war of choice? It'd be like messing around with a word like "fascism" and who's stupid enough to do that?
And for Obama, that's worth a lot. During the campaign, then-Sen. Obama made it clear that he thought words meant a great deal. "Don't tell me words don't matter," Obama proclaimed. " 'I have a dream' -- just words? 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal' -- just words? 'We have nothing to fear but fear itself' -- just words? Just speeches?"
Give the man points for consistency. He has put rhetorical innovation on an equal footing with policy innovation.
Friday, April 10, 2009
How strong is his condemnation? Let count the number of times he condemns the network airing Seth MacFarlane's work by courageously spelling out their initials:
Now it's ABC's "Nightline" paying homage to "Family Guy," and in the process telling us a lot more about "Nightline" than about this stupid show.One.
But to ABC, this was a heartwarming story of a Connecticut boy who grew rich by never maturing past the seventh grade.Two.
The reporter for this segment, titled "Seriously Funny," was ABC's Bill Weir, last seen goofily hailing Barack Obama's inauguration as a day when "even the seagulls must have been awed."Three.
This is where ABC tossed aside any semblance of fairness in favor of a one-sided puff piece.Four.
Apparently, there is a line, at least when you're interviewed by ABC News: Don't insult the Kennedys.Five.
As for anything else, in ABC's eyes, it's "comedic genius."Six.
Instead, ABC allowed MacFarlane to make an unrebutted argument that the censors are arbitrary and ridiculous.Seven.
Just like Coke, ABC is defining MacFarlane's deviancy down, welcoming his radioactive TV waste into the "mainstream."Eight.
Oops, silly me, Seth MacFarlane's work airs on Fox. Let's count these surely equally angry condemnations once more:
Fox's "Comedic Genius"One.
Our cosmopolitan elites have embraced the smutty Fox cartoon "Family Guy."Two.
MacFarlane reportedly signed a $100-million contract with Fox and is now working on a third cesspool of a cartoon series.Three.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Look over there!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Same-sex marriage is quite different from bans on interracial marriage in one powerful respect: It asks religious Americans to surrender a core belief -- no, not Leviticus (disapproval of gay sexual acts), but Genesis -- the idea that God himself made man male and female and commanded men and women to come together in a special way to image the fruitfulness of God.You're aware that Genesis is the bullshittiest part of the Bible, right?
And, if you mandate small cars and child-seat regulations, don't be surprised if the size of the American family starts heading south, too.I'm miming a box! The box is getting smaller - and I am getting even shorter! Look at me mime!
Monday, April 6, 2009
Wait, that's not it. It's
Ted Nugent: Of Crockett and de Tocqueville
Among other such gems we find:
While travelling around America in the 1830s, French statesman Alex de Tocqueville observed, “The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public’s money.”Really, JanusNode can do better than this.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
It’s hard to argue Newsweek hasn’t fully embraced the ideological left.Clearly. Proof follows in the form of someone talking with an actress about a protein bar.
Note to Bimler: Homo sibi destruens sighting.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Black clouds on the horizon
Great thunder and burning rain
Her chariot pounding,
I heard the heavens scream her name
I watched as she shouted
To the giants that died that day
She held up her hammer high
And called to Odin for a sign
Gorin the mighty, Gorin the brave
Crush the infidels in your way
By your hammer let none be saved
Live to die on that final day
Gods, Monsters and Men
We'll die together in the end
Goddess of thunder, god of rain
Earth shaker who feels no pain
The powerhead of the Universe
Now send your never ending curse
Swing your hammer to crack the sky
Lift your cape so that you might fly
Back to Odin and the Gods on High
And leave this mortal world