Friday, February 29, 2008

JanusNode Repost for Duros62

Blogger turns quotes into, um, smart quotes when I want them to stay stupid. JanusNode only likes dumb quotes. I've edited so that the quotes are as dumb as they wanna be. Also, use something that makes nice clean text files like Xint or TextWrangler. Make sure the code is on a single line.

I like JanusNode.

Here's a start that I think is a little less opaque than the manual.

Download JanusNode and find your way to the JanusNode Resources folder.

Make a folder in textDNA and call it Mine.

Make a text file called Mine (no .txt suffix necessary) and include this single line:

100 Subject(one) "I" 100 InsultVerbs 100 "that" 100 adjectives 100 RJWaterAnimals 100 punctuate 100 return 100

Put the text file in the Mine folder. Restart JanusNode. In the drop-down menu with Introductory Sample will be “Mine”. Choose it and hit the silly picture.

100 is a frequency percentage and the first one applies to the sentence as a whole. “Subject(one)” is the name of the sentence (TextDNA) as a whole. Every 100 thereafter applies to the item just before it, so every item in this textDNA fires 100 percent of the time the item is invoked.

Things in quotes are literal text. Things without quotes are either looking in the BrainFood folder for an identical filename from which to draw words or, in the case of the last two items, are some of the very few special commands.

The output:

I terminate that slender blackfish?
I eat that green catfish.
I bring curses upon that pigheaded alligator…
I draw blood from that demented fish?
I bring curses upon that trembling perch?
I rain evil upon that capricious ‘gator?
I bring ill to that trembling fish.
I bankrupt that cinematic water snake…
I bankrupt that anarchistic shrimp.
I call down the wrath of the Gods upon that shattered perch?
I eat that nubile black bass.
I torture that unrealistic blind fish?
I curse that envious alligator?
I torment that cheap shrimp…
I destroy that rambling ‘gator…
I annoy that mysterious turtle?
I execute that eternal turtle…
I terminate that notorious perch.
I bring zits to that pliable blackfish…
I annoy that capricious perch.
I cripple that jazz alligator…
I damn that explorable ‘gator.
I destroy that fabulous ‘gator?
I tax that odd fish.
I place obstacles before that abundant catfish?
I execute that explorable black bass.
I bring zits to that occasional whitefish?
I make impossible that conscious blackfish?
I dominate that evangelical black bass…
I exploit that early catfish?

Definitions of Irony R Us

Thursday, February 28, 2008

My Omnipresent Shame Gives Way to Hopeful Changeabilitinessation!

Dear Boner,

Thanks for signing the Draft Bloomberg petition.

As I am sure you know by now, the Mayor has decided that he will not run.

I have been caught: I did not know that.

I wail to the heavens in disappointment.
The goal was simple: To enable the American people to have the option on the November 2008 ballot to vote for a candidate who would meet the enormous challenges in front of the country and change Washington's broken politics-as-usual forever.

Michael Bloomberg would have done that and could have won.

But an interesting thing has happened since then. The American people, sensing those challenges themselves, seem to be in the process of choosing the most likely candidates in their parties to do the same thing. A contest between Senators McCain and Obama would be transformational in itself; the small-time, bickering, schoolyard politics of Washington seems on the verge of change.

Ummm.

Both parties have chosen the candidates most like Mike Bloomberg, so whoever wins IT'S A VIRTUAL MIKE BLOOMBERG WIN!!!

That counts as VIRTUAL INCUMBENCY for the next run. Good luck Mike!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Soros!



This one's more exciting than the SORES! one because I cut it to make it seem like she has rhythm.

Yellowbelly

The song at the end of this runs through my head quite often.



Yellow, Yellowbelly
Where you gonna run to now?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

JanusNode Greets You

You warm audacious snuggler-being, you have attained the ability to rain pleasure upon your desire.

Monday, February 25, 2008

From the "I'm an Awful Person" Department

I take morbid pleasure in the #1 result for "my cat died".

The Return of Skeletor

I have previously noted the exacting detail in which Wikipedians have explored the question of Skeletor's head.

Some would suggest that the world can get by with less Skeletor:



DON'T LET THE BASTARDS WIN.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

It Wasn't Me



It was quickly fixed.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Idle Hands

Some JanusNode Instructions

I like JanusNode.

Here's a start that I think is a little less opaque than the manual.

Download JanusNode and find your way to the JanusNode Resources folder.

Make a folder in textDNA and call it Mine.

Make a text file called Mine (no .txt suffix necessary) and include this single line:

100 Subject(one) "I" 100 InsultVerbs 100 "that" 100 adjectives 100 RJWaterAnimals 100 punctuate 100 return 100

Put the text file in the Mine folder. Restart JanusNode. In the drop-down menu with Introductory Sample will be “Mine”. Choose it and hit the silly picture.

100 is a frequency percentage and the first one applies to the sentence as a whole. “Subject(one)” is the name of the sentence (TextDNA) as a whole. Every 100 thereafter applies to the item just before it, so every item in this textDNA fires 100 percent of the time the item is invoked.

Things in quotes are literal text. Things without quotes are either looking in the BrainFood folder for an identical filename from which to draw words or, in the case of the last two items, are some of the very few special commands.

The output:

I terminate that slender blackfish?
I eat that green catfish.
I bring curses upon that pigheaded alligator…
I draw blood from that demented fish?
I bring curses upon that trembling perch?
I rain evil upon that capricious ‘gator?
I bring ill to that trembling fish.
I bankrupt that cinematic water snake…
I bankrupt that anarchistic shrimp.
I call down the wrath of the Gods upon that shattered perch?
I eat that nubile black bass.
I torture that unrealistic blind fish?
I curse that envious alligator?
I torment that cheap shrimp…
I destroy that rambling ‘gator…
I annoy that mysterious turtle?
I execute that eternal turtle…
I terminate that notorious perch.
I bring zits to that pliable blackfish…
I annoy that capricious perch.
I cripple that jazz alligator…
I damn that explorable ‘gator.
I destroy that fabulous ‘gator?
I tax that odd fish.
I place obstacles before that abundant catfish?
I execute that explorable black bass.
I bring zits to that occasional whitefish?
I make impossible that conscious blackfish?
I dominate that evangelical black bass…
I exploit that early catfish?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Embarrassment

I have been tagged for something, but will tag no further. So let the pain begin.
They attack by butting with their large horns. They add +6 to damage inflicted when they charge, and they attack as +16 hit dice monsters.

Thrym is both leader and deity of the frost giants.

That's from the 1980 Deities & Demigods published by TSR.

This represents the hazards of being a pack-rat and having a five-year-old daughter who can read: it's the nearest book on the floor. Below is what was once her favourite goddess, although she has fortunately forgotten what page it's on and is now stuck with Japanese mythos:

Sunday, February 17, 2008

JanusNode

People who like to mangle text can have good fun with JanusNode.

It's not well explained, but there are some pre-built text DNA modules that produce things like story plots:
This story has two main characters. The first is Raphael, an old rocket engineer. The second is named Reuben. Reuben is a dogged prisoner.
Raphael and Reuben meet in an electric enigmatic half-way house. Raphael and Reuben are drinking white wine together. Reuben is tired of being dogged and longing. He knows that Raphael is neither dogged nor longing. Raphael is only after one thing: riots. Reuben needs to get riots. The kinky rocket engineer explains to the kindly dogged prisoner that the kind-hearted rain is a symbol of revolution. Reuben is changed forever. He becomes more dogged.


Sorry, left the alliteration control on. Anyway, download it and remember to hit the pretty picture with your mouse...that generates from the TextDNA: there's no obvious "go" button.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Motivation



I love this.

Text here.

Art

The Musée des beaux-arts de Montréal has a very restrictive photography policy so I took what I could. Enjoy.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

From the Mail



I love the internet.

Antonin Scalia is Scum

But you knew that.

My Superiority As a Companion to My Kitty

Honestly, could another cat give that kind of full-body massage? That fucker should be grateful.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Har Har

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Word Golf

BURN
BORN
BOON
BOOT
BLOT
CLOT
CLOG
FLOG
FLAG

There's at least one shorter way to do it.